Last Tuesday, Sister Blackner felt really sick, and her whole body just ached. Her stomach wasn't too well either, and she rested for all of Tuesday and half of Wednesday. The sister training leaders came on splits with us Tuesday so I could go to the few appointments we set. But pretty much the whole week, Sister Blackner recovered but still felt not at 100%, and I just tried to make sure I didn't get the flu either (we figured that's what it was).

So on Friday, the whole mission participated in a "fast and find friday," where we cancel any pre-set appointments we had to go out and find new investigators all day long(from 10 am-8 pm). The night before, we missed out on the mission-wide conference call, so we didn't know President Warner told everyone to make sure to drink water. So by 10:30 am, we already knew the day would be long. It wasn't until 4 pm when we called the other sisters we knew we were allowed to drink water, but we said we might as well stick it out until 8 pm. I have never felt so drained, because usually when we fast, we aren't walking all day everywhere, and talking to every person we meet. So we were parched and hungry and tired. But the power of fasting is so real; we had some really great gospel conversations with the people we met, about 98% of people were pretty polite to us, and we found one new investigator! I truly admired Sister Blackner for motivating me, she was a true trooper. By our last stop, which was a less active family, Heavenly Father is truly mindful, because Brother Medeiros offered us some food and water which we denied once, but then it was placed one a plate in front of us, so we ended our fast.

In the afternoon, we also talked to guy named Ed, and he seemed to assume that serving a mission was our "good works" to get into heaven. We tried to explain that Heavenly Father expects us to apply Jesus Christ's Atonement in our lives by faith(without works is dead), repentance, baptism, etc. But he was jumping up and down on his porch, asking why Christ's sacrifice isn't enough for us. And how blasphemous it us for us to call Christ our brother, since it devalues his role as our Savior. Anyway, it was a struggle to keep the Spirit because we don't want to argue, but we still have to be firm in what we believe in. This experience really made me grateful for the knowledge of the gospel, and the understanding that Jesus Christ is our mediator with Heavenly Father, but we still are in debt to Him. So it only makes sense, He has expectations for us, such as being obedient and following His example. Brother Long taught a lesson on the Atonement this Sunday, and drew a really good visual. We just shared our testimonies and left on a "nice talking to you!" :)

We are the debtor -> Jesus Christ is our new creditor -> Heavenly Father was the original creditor (the nerd in me really liked this example in relation with accounting haha)

We also tried to set up an appointment with our Chinese investigator Vivian, and it kept getting postponed because of scheduling conflicts. On Saturday, we met her at the tabernacle in Honolulu, but she got lost on the bus, and then her bus stopped suddenly, but at last she arrived! I felt like my stress levels were getting so high because we can't just pick her up in our car(mission rules), and also while we taught her the plan of salvation, I was frustrated at myself at times when I couldn't really expand on an answer to her questions, but she was really patient with me. She understood the points, and thank goodness for the Chinese pamphlets that she could read, but I realized how much my Chinese sucked. So sad. I felt disappointed at myself, despite the hours I tried to study the vocabulary so I could just teach the lesson. I realized that I just need to do my best, and put myself in her shoes so we could prepare for her questions. Even though Sister Blackner doesn't understand Chinese, there were many times in the lesson when she made sure to remind me to tell Vivian an important point I had forgotten. I'm so grateful for the guidance of the Spirit in our companionship unity, and for the strength it gives both of us. I wonder if this is how the elders felt when they first taught my mom about the gospel, nervous, and constantly praying for guidance. Haha

There's a long way to go before I'm perfectly good at teaching, especially in Chinese, but I know there's hope hahaha. And! We set a baptism date for her next month, so that's exciting! :)

This week is going to be bittersweet because it's likely my last week here in Kaneohe (since I'm a Visitors Center sister, I can only stay out for two transfers, and this is the end of my 2nd transfer), but I won't find out until Saturday. 3 months go by fast and I've learned a lot about myself, missionary work, and enduring through the difficult days. Sometimes we feel like we can conquer the world, sometimes we feel like we fail as missionaries, but they're only lessons learned. :)

Scripture of the week: Alma 27:27

"And they were also distinguished for their zeal towards God, and also towards men; for they were perfectly honest and upright in all things and they were firm in the faith of Christ, even unto the end."