I'm back at the visitors center and it's honestly a little weird haha. I used to serve in a family ward, well two actually, but now I'm covering some YSA wards on campus and one married student ward! Going to church felt like being back at BYU Provo because we're all students haha. There are quite a few changes I'm getting used to; for example, now there are more companionships on shift in the late afternoon/evening shift to accompany the additional visitors that come from the tram tours from the Polynesian Cultural Center. Usually the 6:00, 6:20, ad 6:30 pm tours have two trams for guests but now there's an additional little bus we call Tram Lion. I hear we have to stand and give the tours and have not experienced that one yet, but it allows more people to come visit the temple grounds. :)

Last Wed I was so stressed out because my previous VC companions left my muumuus(what we wear in the VC and on tram) with Sister Swinton but she could not find them anywhere! But thankfully she found it the next day...phew. 

Since most of the students at BYUH are members of the church, the few non-members either have shown clear disinterest in meeting with missionaries or they're hard to get ahold of. Sister Ting told me there isn't much progress with investigators but a lot of our work is strengthening the students that are members. I think about my scripture study and praying back at school and realized it wasn't very good at all, so I could definitely relate to students here haha. As missionaries, it's easy to take for granted our desire to read scriptures or pray sincerely. Yesterday we talked to a freshman named Vonry, and she had a semester full of personal trials and didn't want to pray anymore. We both bore testimony of how praying invites the Spirit and Heavenly Father's love into our lives and after she wrote down what she would say in a prayer, she realized how many blessings she has in her life. It dawned on me how easily we can forget the gospel's influence in our lives, the blessings and miracles we've seen, when we stop praying. Satan has a way of making us feel comfortable in our lives, so we forget Heavenly Father's hand in our lives.

Yesterday we also had a musical fireside with a children's choir performing and people were just overflowing out the doors! I was reminded of the firesides from December and how much of a special spirit music brings into the hearts of people. I am so grateful for the Spirit that can be felt on temple grounds and all the experiences in the last three months that have helped me be more natural at talking with strangers and getting to know them haha. I gave a tour to the sweetest couple who came here to celebrate their 25th anniversary, and they said they believe in God and what Christ has done, but haven't found the right church yet, because they haven't felt the Spirit or people living what they preach. I shared with them how that's exactly how Joseph Smith felt when he wanted to know the truth and invited them to learn more. They didn't leave a guest card with me, but I know their hearts were open, and maybe they will in due time. 

Another random thing! Well, actually kind of cool. Sister Ting and I also teach a few members of the married student ward English, using the articles from the Ensign magazine. It totally reminds me of Toronto where the missionaries teach ESL, but we totally do not have the same resources haha... but Jinjing and Li have such cool experiences of how they came to know the church. Yesterday we also talked to a student who had a referral for us, and it was a Chinese lawyer who told him he was more interested in learning about the church because he plans to get his Masters degree at BYU! I am amazed at how so many people from China are hearing of the gospel. It's pretty great :)

Every day at the VC is a surprise. Instead of giving tours inside the VC of the whole tram group, we try to focus on people that we feel are open and ready to learn more. Sometimes I'm just looking for someone to talk to because it feels like so many VC sisters are talking to everyone! (which is really great).

There's such a drastic change between getting to know all the families in the Kaneohe 4th Ward and now covering 6 different YSA wards....Sister Ting has served in this area for 7 months now and still doesn't know everyone(it's virtually impossible). Thankfully I haven't forgotten the tram tour, I still got a nervous on Saturday when we split to give our own tours.

Scripture of the week: Mormon 8:22

“For the eternal purposes of the Lord shall roll on, until all his promises shall be fulfilled.”

So this is it, my last week in Kaneohe. Usually we find out the Saturday before transfers where we're going next and who will be our companion, but we got a surprise text on Friday morning. I knew it was coming (me going back to the VC), but the crazy thing is, Sister Lee will be replacing me and will serve with Sister Blackner here!!! For those of you who know Emily/Sister Lee, and understand how rare it is that we even ended up serving in the same mission together, and how rare it would be for her to serve at not only the same area as me for her full-field experience, but with the same companion as me! And they two of them actually came to Hawaii together from the MTC. We will have so much to talk about when Sister Lee comes back! I bet she's writing the same thoughts in her email today haha.

This past week, Sister Blackner and I have been realizing that it's so much easier to invite others to learn more when we teach them a principle of the gospel(usually our QGCs/quality gospel conversations include an attempt to share or talk with others). And sometimes, because we're so used to rejection to that invitation, we just leave them with our phone numbers. But we totally regret not asking! We finished talking to a guy named Kirby and before we left, he told us he would be here until the end of June (visiting his grandkids), pretty much hinting we should come back...We had a miracle happen haha. At the beginning of last transfer we bumped into a guy leaving his apartment complex (at the stairs) that said he wanted to talk with missionaries again, but we forgot to ask his name and didn't know which unit he lived in. But just on the weekend, we were visiting a referral who lives in the same area, and saw his door open and we felt prompted to talk to him (had no idea who he was), and it was the same guy! His name is Sean and he's interested in discussing more about our beliefs, and said he was "naive" 10 yrs ago when he talked with the elders. Heavenly Father is truly guiding us to people who are prepared. But I won't be staying to find out what will happen. 

We haven't been able to see Vivian because she had a surgery and is recovering at home, but I'm excited Sister Lee will continue teaching her! I can't wait to hear more when I write her haha. We didn't get to teach Bowe and Kiona either because their family friend came to visit, but I got to say goodbye on Sunday. I hate goodbyes, but at least I'm not far, everyone just needs to come to the temple :) We taught Tasi and her brother LJ and her friend Dayeisha the plan of happiness, and they are such quick learners! 

We also had a district flood last Friday, so we went to the Kahaluu area. It was scorching hot and we were drenched in sweat as we tracted up a hilly street. One woman was pretty nice but she said "I don't believe in the big man upstairs with his beard." Made us laugh. We probably should've said we know Heavenly Father loves us all, but we didn't... 

And last week The Book of Mormon broadway play came to Hawaii. President Warner had several companionships stand near the theatre to hand out the real Book of Mormons to others because of course the real scripture is better. It pretty much makes fun of our faith but even Christian beliefs too. I wouldn't recommend anyone to watch it, but it does give a lot of publicity to the Book of Mormon. And I wouldn't complain about that. :)

Yesterday, Brother Long, Sister Blackner and I spoke in sacrament meeting about "feed my sheep"/doing missionary work. I was able to say bye to some of the families we've gotten to know, and I was so sad. Because I won't be coming back to this ward or area for the rest of my mission, but at least they can come visit at the visitors center. I talked about how important it is to fellowship each other as members, so we can really feel like we're all part of Heavenly Father's family. One part of missionary work is helping others learn of the gospel, but an even bigger portion is helping them stay strong in the gospel.

Read this awesome poem Sister Blackner shared:

"After All We Can Do

by Elder Robbie Pierce

I had been in that hole for a very long time—

In the dark and the damp, in the cold and the slime.

The shaft was above me; I saw it quite clear,

But there’s no way I ever could reach it from here.

I could not remember the world way up there,

So I lost every hope and gave in to despair.

I knew nothing but darkness, the floor, and the wall.

Then from off in the distance I heard someone call:

“Get up! Get ready! There’s nothing the matter!

Take rocks and take sticks and build up a fine ladder!”

This was a thought that had not crossed my mind,

But I started to stack all the stones I could find.

When I ran out of stones, then old sticks were my goal,

For some way or another I’d climb from that hole.

I soon had a ladder that stood very tall,

And I thought, “I’ll soon leave this place once and for all!”

I climbed up my ladder, a difficult chore,

For from lifting those boulders, my shoulders were sore.

I climbed up the ladder, but soon had to stop,

For my ladder stopped short, some ten feet from the top.

I went back down my ladder and felt all around,

But there were no more boulders nor sticks to be found.

I sat down in the darkness and started to cry.

I’d done all I could do and I gave my best try.

But in spite of my work, in this hole I must die.

And all I could do was to sit and think, “Why?”

Was my ladder to short? Was my hole much too deep?

Then from way up on high came a voice: “Do not weep.”

And then faith, hope, and love entered into my chest

As the voice calmly told me that I'd done my best.

He said, “You have worked hard, and your labor’s been rough,

But the ladder you’ve built is at last tall enough.

So do not despair; there is reason to hope,

Just climb up your ladder; I’ll throw down my rope.”

I climbed up my ladder, then climbed up the cord.

When I got to the top of it, there stood the Lord.

I’ve never been happier; my struggle was done.

I blinked in the brightness that came from the Son.

I fell to the ground as His feet I did kiss.

I cried, “Lord, can I ever repay Thee for this?”

He looked all about. There were holes in the ground.

They had people inside, and were seen all around.

There were thousands of holes that were damp, dark and deep.

Then the Lord looked at me, and He said, “feed my sheep,”

And he went on his way to save other lost souls,

So I got right to work, calling down to the holes,

“Get up! Get ready! There is nothing the matter!

Take rocks, and take sticks, and build up a fine ladder!”

It now was my calling to spread the good word,

The most glorious message that man ever heard:

That there’s one who is coming to save one and all,

And we need to be ready when he gives the call.

He’ll pull us all out of the holes that we’re in

And save all our souls from cold death and from sin.

So do not lose faith; there is reason to hope:

Just climb up your ladder; he’ll throw down his rope."

Isn't the Atonement wonderful? :) Is there someone that pops into mind when you read about those other holes? I invite you to think of what you can do to help them out. :) I'm feeling bittersweet to leave all the people I've grown to love here, and of course Sister Blackner and her lame jokes(haha), but I'll be doing awesome work with Sister Ting, my new companion, starting Wednesday :) She was our sister training leader when we first got to Hawaii! I'm going to write Sister Lee often to see how the work is continuing here in Kaneohe, and I really hope we get to serve together when she comes back to the VC. 3 months here have gone by quickly, but I can't help but remember all the good memories we've had.

Scriptures of the week: Moroni 7:47-48
"But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure."

Rewatch or watch general conference talks here(you can even look for specific topics or speakers):
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2016/04?cid=HP_SU_3-4-2016_dPFD_fGC_xLIDyL1-B_&lang=eng

Too bad it's been so cloudy lately. But the ocean is always beautiful here. Next week you'll be seeing her with Sister Lee!

Last Tuesday, Sister Blackner felt really sick, and her whole body just ached. Her stomach wasn't too well either, and she rested for all of Tuesday and half of Wednesday. The sister training leaders came on splits with us Tuesday so I could go to the few appointments we set. But pretty much the whole week, Sister Blackner recovered but still felt not at 100%, and I just tried to make sure I didn't get the flu either (we figured that's what it was).

So on Friday, the whole mission participated in a "fast and find friday," where we cancel any pre-set appointments we had to go out and find new investigators all day long(from 10 am-8 pm). The night before, we missed out on the mission-wide conference call, so we didn't know President Warner told everyone to make sure to drink water. So by 10:30 am, we already knew the day would be long. It wasn't until 4 pm when we called the other sisters we knew we were allowed to drink water, but we said we might as well stick it out until 8 pm. I have never felt so drained, because usually when we fast, we aren't walking all day everywhere, and talking to every person we meet. So we were parched and hungry and tired. But the power of fasting is so real; we had some really great gospel conversations with the people we met, about 98% of people were pretty polite to us, and we found one new investigator! I truly admired Sister Blackner for motivating me, she was a true trooper. By our last stop, which was a less active family, Heavenly Father is truly mindful, because Brother Medeiros offered us some food and water which we denied once, but then it was placed one a plate in front of us, so we ended our fast.

In the afternoon, we also talked to guy named Ed, and he seemed to assume that serving a mission was our "good works" to get into heaven. We tried to explain that Heavenly Father expects us to apply Jesus Christ's Atonement in our lives by faith(without works is dead), repentance, baptism, etc. But he was jumping up and down on his porch, asking why Christ's sacrifice isn't enough for us. And how blasphemous it us for us to call Christ our brother, since it devalues his role as our Savior. Anyway, it was a struggle to keep the Spirit because we don't want to argue, but we still have to be firm in what we believe in. This experience really made me grateful for the knowledge of the gospel, and the understanding that Jesus Christ is our mediator with Heavenly Father, but we still are in debt to Him. So it only makes sense, He has expectations for us, such as being obedient and following His example. Brother Long taught a lesson on the Atonement this Sunday, and drew a really good visual. We just shared our testimonies and left on a "nice talking to you!" :)

We are the debtor -> Jesus Christ is our new creditor -> Heavenly Father was the original creditor (the nerd in me really liked this example in relation with accounting haha)

We also tried to set up an appointment with our Chinese investigator Vivian, and it kept getting postponed because of scheduling conflicts. On Saturday, we met her at the tabernacle in Honolulu, but she got lost on the bus, and then her bus stopped suddenly, but at last she arrived! I felt like my stress levels were getting so high because we can't just pick her up in our car(mission rules), and also while we taught her the plan of salvation, I was frustrated at myself at times when I couldn't really expand on an answer to her questions, but she was really patient with me. She understood the points, and thank goodness for the Chinese pamphlets that she could read, but I realized how much my Chinese sucked. So sad. I felt disappointed at myself, despite the hours I tried to study the vocabulary so I could just teach the lesson. I realized that I just need to do my best, and put myself in her shoes so we could prepare for her questions. Even though Sister Blackner doesn't understand Chinese, there were many times in the lesson when she made sure to remind me to tell Vivian an important point I had forgotten. I'm so grateful for the guidance of the Spirit in our companionship unity, and for the strength it gives both of us. I wonder if this is how the elders felt when they first taught my mom about the gospel, nervous, and constantly praying for guidance. Haha

There's a long way to go before I'm perfectly good at teaching, especially in Chinese, but I know there's hope hahaha. And! We set a baptism date for her next month, so that's exciting! :)

This week is going to be bittersweet because it's likely my last week here in Kaneohe (since I'm a Visitors Center sister, I can only stay out for two transfers, and this is the end of my 2nd transfer), but I won't find out until Saturday. 3 months go by fast and I've learned a lot about myself, missionary work, and enduring through the difficult days. Sometimes we feel like we can conquer the world, sometimes we feel like we fail as missionaries, but they're only lessons learned. :)

Scripture of the week: Alma 27:27

"And they were also distinguished for their zeal towards God, and also towards men; for they were perfectly honest and upright in all things and they were firm in the faith of Christ, even unto the end."

I have never had a more tiring weekend in my life until the last weekend. That's because General Conference here starts at 6 am, meaning we have to wake up at 5 am to get ready. And usually people get to take naps at home after conference, but there's no napping on a mission except for today (preparation day). The struggle is so real as I tried to listen with real intent from 6-8, and then again from 10-12. Being set apart as a missionary has helped me to stay more awake (almost 100%) as I watch conference than I have ever before in my life. Haha